Beggar’s Canyon, or the Road to Sarnath

When fish swim in schools or when birds fly in flocks, they call upon a special ability to judge speed and spacial relationships in a fraction of a second to adjust their own path of travel in order to avoid collision. That’s why you never see birds crash into each other. I have to wonder if Indian tuk-tuk drivers are an offshoot of humanity that has also evolved this special ability.

While traveling to the holy city of Sarnath,  I had a flashback to the scene in Return of the Jedi, when Lando Calrissian and the Catfish man are piloting the Millenium Falcon towards the Imperial Fleet to engage them at point blank range.  They fly through a swarm of TIE fighters head on while green streaks of lasers fill the space around them.  Well, that’s what we were doing, except times 10.  After about 20 seconds of wondering why I felt a bit more stressed than usual, I realized that we were on a de factor one-way street and we were the only ones who had chosen suicidal option number 2, and we were only armed with a horn.  Good thing they weren’t shooting at us.  Wait, did that kid just try to hit us with a rock?  Good flying Gold Leader, Catfish man ain’t got nothin’ on you.

The one good thing about all this is that when it comes time for an interplanetary war with an invading hostile alien race, we’ll have plenty of pilots to call upon.  Basically, they’re human targeting computers that can track multiple target trajectories simultaneously.  All that needs to be done is to modify whatever spacefighters we have with tuk-tuk handlebars and wire the horn button to the weapons.  Let’s just hope that they don’t get in each other’s way, or else they’d start blowing each other out of the sky.

The only other explanation I have to each time we plow through an intersection at full speed with cross traffic and come out the other side unscathed, is that it’s a small miracle, over and over and over again.


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